I want to share my final thoughts on one of the most profound weeks of my life.
(Photo: Blasted. Moments after crossing the finish line of the 50 mile day. Crazy weird Sahara dust all over me. Asleep on the sand minutes later.)
The experience that sticks out most to me was when I experienced a 12 mile, extreme runner's high while running through the night by headlamp after running 40 painful, slow miles. Funny enough, I couldn't for the life of me remember the song that ignited the fire inside. I must have listened to it a half-dozen times too. It wasn't until 36 hours later, while laying under the desert stars at 2am, that I woke up to the tune. It took me another 15 minutes to recall the lyrics. I felt the fire again while laying there in my sleeping bag (fortunately not THAT kind of fire).
The song is Times Like These by Foo Fighters. It's not like it's that profound of a song, but for some reason it was the catalyst between me shuffling in full-body pain and running beyond what I thought was possible. Here's a few of the lyrics:
I am a new day rising
I'm a brand new sky
To hang the stars upon tonight
I am a little divided
Do I stay or run away
And leave it all behind?
It's times like these you learn to live again
It's times like these you give and give again
It's times like these you learn to love again
It's times like these time and time again
What is profound is that this whole experience made me re-learn how to live, give and love. I'm pretty sure these things are to be done with more passion, risk, exertion, and reckless abandon.
I learned more about God's reverse economy. If you want to receive, give. If you want to be filled up, pour yourself out. You only really live for certain things if you are willing to die to them. I felt like I was the one receiving and being filled up all week.
Even though I had some basic longings throughout the week (i.e. cold beer and bodywork), all of my deeper longings were met. My soul felt filled. It felt like a week-long camping trip with God. One where we hung out, talked a lot, I complained but then we laughed together, I complimented Him on the scenery a lot, I asked him for lots of practical things, and he really took care of me and gave me a profound experience. Like a really good friend would. Or like a really good Dad would.
I know i wouldn't have had the same experience in my routine at home, or if the experience was easy or risk-free. It cost me a lot. It cost YOU a lot. Over 100 people gave over 30,000 of their hard-earned dollars. And I rest in the thought that God will take the bit we all sacrificed and multiply it for great things.
I just read through my blog posts for the first time since I wrote them and they're a bit rough, sappy and vulnerable. The exclamation point must have been stuck because every post is littered with them. I didn't edit them at the time. Just hobbled over after my run and poured out whatever was left. And that's what you got.
I was humbled more than a few times this week, and you guys were a big part of keeping me going. Thank you all for going on this journey with me. I hope you're not left with a picture of my strength. That would be inaccurate. I just signed up, trained and showed up. It was a much bigger strength and support that kept me going and allowed me to accomplish this goal. God orchestrated it and you were a part of it.
"My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." - Jesus
My next endurance event will be having a second child in February. Here's to another round of living, giving and loving beyond what I think is possible!