As we move closer to the race I can feel myself withdrawing. Mostly it's a reminder that we came here to run a race. The tourist stuff is fun but there are 7 days of some serious running ahead of us and the partying can wait. I mentioned earlier in one of my posts about a belief I have around bliss/pain. I do believe that you can achieve bliss through pain.

Some examples, not all that apply to me:

Childbirth

Studying to be a doctor/lawyer - not sure if they ever get to the 'bliss' part

Pilgrimage to Mt. Kailash

Tattoo

Gobi March - felt obligated to drop this in.

Flying Air Canada/Eastern China Air 20 hours to a race - p.s. a great leveller for a race where you have people of all abilities.

The thing is coming from NA and living a fat life, we get lulled into believing that life is supposed to be easy. We worked for it and deserve it and all that stuff. Come to China. People work their tails off - although, admittedly they might not partake in the 'bliss' part.

Damn I love Beijing. Senses - assaulted. Eyes - burning. Legs - like lead from walking the epic street blocks (How about 1km/block!) Of course, I swore up and down that I would be taking it easy today, going slow, legs up. Nope. We are a pack of ice cream seeking, camera toting tourists. (A great pack to hang with though)

We've been here for over 20 hours after a leg shattering Air Canada flight. Met some great competitors from Alberta, Paul and Dave, who look well prepared. It's always a bit intimidating meeting other competitors, talking about their training, packs, etc. Time is flying by though and we are in the 'Holy shit, we are racing in 3 days...' mode. Not sure whether to laugh or cry.

The salient moment came today while sitting out on a traffic congested street, sucking on the fumes and being generally pummelled by the people, smoke and noise. DP turned to me and said, "Man, I feel blessed to be here...' Couldn't have said it better.

Not sure how others are managing the last few days. I am finding that I need to keep moving, keep busy. Idle time drives me mad. Today I spent the day traveling, did an interview for City TV, now I am on the North Shore, hammering out the few last emails, cleaning up my inbox...

We leave to Beijing on Tuesday and overall it's been a curious day. Curious in a good way.

"In Ancient Greece, victors at the Olympic Games were not given a gold medal. They certainly were not given multi-million dollar media deals. They were simply given a wee hat made out of leaves. A "laurel wreath", to be precise.

The wreath's raw materials would have cost a handful of spare change, in today's money. Add- I don't know- a couple of sheckles to pay somebody to make it- it probably would've only taken the person a few minutes. And the athlete would only keep it for a few weeks, tossing it away once the leaves turned brown.

Why did the Greeks choose to do it this way? Because the laurel wreath, unlike a multi-million dollar media deal, symbolized victory's fleeting nature."

PS. If you're an evil marketer like me, he is on the leading edge and always a good, if slightly neg., read.

Today was a special day. It's not often that I get to spend 12 hours with my two daughters, just chilling and having fun. Usually after about 8 hours of chaos I'm begging for mercy. I'm a Dad (hard to believe sometimes) and although I have decent running endurance my 'kid' endurance is weak. Anyway, today I got to be the indulgent Dad and take them to the last bastion of true Canadiana, Tim Hortons, for a doughnut. Life is busy with 2 girls under 6 and with life so busy, and me not always paying attention, it sometimes takes one of them to remind me that, yes, I am a Dad, and yes, we are all connected.

A few weeks ago I was helping my oldest daughter (I have 2) into her bunk bed and she started to weep. The kind of soft crying that sets off an adrenaline rush for me - maybe evolution is at work here. It was unusual because we had a great night of playing Barbie's (if you really knew how much time I spent on the floor playing 'fashion Barbie' you'd have a good laugh). When I asked her what was the matter she started crying harder and saying that she didn't want me to go to the Gobi. *gulp* No real reason other than she didn't want me to go. It was really the first time she voiced her concerns to me and I was on my heels, not quite sure what to say, practicing my reflective listening (like all 'good' parents in 2007 are supposed to do).

Family/work/train/race . That really sums up my existance. Take a shot if you want but Family is first - I gave up my right to be a screwup with family when we had children. Bottom line is It takes work. I don't have an upcoming post that will read 'Top 5 tricks for keeping your family life in tact while you persue your selfish obsessions...' Luckily my partner is supportive of my racing. I think she realizes that by holding me back, I won't be happy and then the family won't be happy. So we balance my running with everything else as best we can. It's not perfect but it's not a recipe for disaster either. I'd be interested in how others do it.

I cuddled my daughter to sleep that night and she woke up the next morning without even mentioning the Gobi. Kids are great observers so it could be that she thought I was distracted with race prep. and not REALLY paying attention to her - not the first time.

We have a close relationship, the three of us, and I will be missing both of them.

This is an addendum to my earlier post - I promise to get back to writing about the race. Kris, this is for you (you had to ask!) only 5 because 5 is managable and also blogs aren't suited for 100. Underlying all of this is MY understanding that you have one life so use it wisely. (Is there a soap box anywhere around here....).

So you've made the choice to get beat up at the GM. Nice work. What's next? Tea at Buckhingham Palace? A barbed wire tattoo? (Dude, don't do this one, it's been done.) Sharing a tent with Ray Zahab at a desert race? (Do this one even though it's been done). Life is short. If you need to test that one out, have a few kids and you'll see what I mean.

So, what else is on my list of 'things to attempt before I die...' in no particular order here are a few mostly non-running things:

1. Trek the Torres Del Paine (Chile) - There is a panoramic photo of the towers at my physio's office and I have spent more than one occasion just staring, chills running across my arms. If it looks anything like the photo...

2. Visit one of the poles - Not sure which one. I've read about Scott's expedition at the south, and the north has polar bears (only one of the nastiest predators on earth -- I say that in a good way), leaning to the south.

3. Lead singer of a punk rock band - I don't have the guns of Henry Rollins, but no matter. My later youth was listening to Hank and others. I saw him play a few years ago and the energy in the place was wild. Come to think of it, he'd probably do well in the desert. In the off chance that anyone knows him, here's an invitation to him. Come on Henry nothing to be scared about...

4. 6 months of voluntary silence - My team mates would help with this one. I think there is something good in shutting the hell up! for a while. The downside is all of the chatter in your head.

5. Cross Canada run - We have a big country and many people do it on bike. One day I'd like to run it from the Pacific to the Atlantic. For fun.

So, there you have 5. Kris, chime in with some of yours. I don't want to be the only one bearing my soul for this blog.

I was having a discussion with a friend this week. Someone who is a close friend of mine but you'd never know it because we are very different - not in values but in beliefs. He's PC, I'm MAC. If you asked us both to name the most influential person in the 21st century, he'd say Donald Trump, I'd say Oprah Winfrey (kidding). I'm not sure who I'd say but it would be someone who is a troublemaker.

The discussion turned to a new BMW that my friend was laser focused on buying. New and shiny. I started to give him the self-rightous gears about getting sucked into consumerville and all that stuff, when I realized that I'd lost the plot. 

The reality is that we all covet 't hings' before we die whether it is money, power or in my case the following 3*:

1) a silver buckle from Western States 100

2) finishing Badwater (In the case of Badwater, I am OK with just finishing)

3) a top 100 finish at MDS.

*Because I am writing in a blog, this is the short list of 'wants'. The long list includes all sorts of crazy shite.

In the end, I am more like my friend than not - our obsessions are (mis)placed on different 'things' but fundamentally the obsession, drive to accumulate, etc are the same. My wife thinks I (all of us actually) am crazy and lately I have a hard time disagreeing.